I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
