Me too!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
