Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Randomize
