He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
