i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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