Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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