Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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