508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
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