No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
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