The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
