I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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