so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
