So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
