Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Randomize
