So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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