My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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