talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Randomize
