Pappa wants mamma naked
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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