He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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