Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize