Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
