cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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