I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
