just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I need water and some morals
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
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