ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
