Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
