Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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