He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Dear god my vagina.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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