And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
