The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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