Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
