I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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