then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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