just survived the first fart of the relationship.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
