You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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