It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Randomize
