It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Randomize
