Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
His hands were made for my vagina.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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