So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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