We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I don't deserve a penis
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
