Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
this will be a night to untag.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
