I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
You are the jesus of drinking
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
