Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize