I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
