She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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