the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Life is so much better after having sex.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
