just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
There r osticjed everywhere
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Come share oat with me in your robe
They have beer where we have blood.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
