WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
