check it out our google latitudes are spooning
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Randomize
