She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
