Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
