Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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