Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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