I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
