8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Randomize
