Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
