it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Randomize
