Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
